This stuff is mainly for BC right there, but I will present to you all, fizin.com's useless as fuck tips:

PRETEND you're listening to Radio 1 on Long Wave by slightly off tuning the FM frequency and wrapping the radio in a sleeping bag.

UNDERWATER cameramen! Don't throw away those discarded supermarket trolleys. Tied together with string, two of them make an ideal shark cage.

GIVE your goldfish a love-bite by inserting a straw into its bowl and sucking gently at its neck.

TAXI drivers. Why not pop into a garage and ask them to fix your indicator lights for you so that the other motorists know where the fuck you are going.

STEREO too loud? Simply place the speakers inside a cupboard. The volume can then effectively be controlled by opening and closing the cupboard doors.

SAVE money on expensive nicotine gum by chewing ordinary gum and smoking a cigarette at the same time.

CAN'T find a dictionary? Try a telephone directory. They contain many useful words such as cooper, black and smart, all of which are in alphabetical order.

DON'T throw away those old car batteries. Placed inside an old pillow case, they make an ideal counter balance on a see-saw.

FOOL next door into thinking you have more stairs that them by always banging your feet twice on each stair.

ALTER the temperature of your bath by alternately adding varying amounts of hot and cold water. But remember that there will always be an overlying downward trend in the temperature.

MUMS. Slip small coloured plastic beads into your kids food so as to easily identify their stools at a later date, should the need to do so arise.

BATTENBURG cake, cut into 16 slices and arranged into a square, makes an ideal emergency chess board.

If you want some more useless as fuck tips, tell me:

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