21 years old

Out for T with Vanessa and Greg to some BBQ place which was quite fizin', got a bit wobbly on jugs of San Miguel. Head out to a few pubs, watch Arsenal draw and Man U get beaten - IMMENSE!!! (Hahaha Faisal) Lets get BLOTTO!....



Thats pretty much all I remember. I wake up with the usual sandpit mouth, and with a 1 cent coin in my left ear (check photo). Vanessa and Greg (whom we owe big time) are both out the flat when we leave, so we leave a wee thankyou note, and head to the Ritz Carlton Hotel. If you're wondering 'What the feck?', as we were, Laura's cousin's mate who couldn't put us up on our 2nd night there, booked us into the hotel for free. You dancer!!! A big thanks go to him!!

So Laura and I walk into the Ritz, a 6-star hotel, with our backpacks being taken out of the taxi by some bloke called Ronaldo. We get to our room. Holy shit-balls...



That picture doesn't quite do it justice. Some other bloke comes to the door with a complimentary basket of fruit. Could get used to this!

Millar has a bath for about 6 hours while I go for a wander and a swim. First time I've felt clean in a month after a sauna, steam room etc. This place is the dogs - I ask at the spa reception if they can open the pool at 5am 2moro, coz we're up early to grab our flight. They oblige.

Rip the piss out of the hotel by ordering up more notepaper at 2am so we can write to a few more folk. FA sleep, quick swim, and taxi to the hotel. We are officially skint. No money to even buy a bottle of water and before you can say 'When do we arrive in Perth?', we arrive in Perth. Beautiful weather.

Arrive at the Billabong Backpackers Resort, which I'd recommend to anyone. Catch up on some sleep after a few shandies. Meet loads of good folk, people from our dorm room etc and have a quality game of volleyball. 3 injuries later, we give up and get the beers in. Kilted, I head out to a random bar with all the folk and get as drunk as humanly possible. Remember being up on the stage dancing infront of the whole club to 500 miles. What a tit.

There's a pub in Perth that I passed called the 'FENIAN PUB'. If only I remembered my Rangers top! Got an Ozzy sim card for me mob, email me if you want the number.

Thats about it for today, kids!

Later,

Mick.

M+P - Can't thank you guys enough - amazing.

Mazzzzzaaaaaaaa - Cheers for the card doll!! PS What's a cross check?

Peeeeekkkk ehhhh - Cheers for the card mate!! Hope your filming goes OK!!

Kimmy G - got yer email chick - chaaas very much!!

Laura D - Had an IMMENSE time, cheers!

HAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDYYYYYYY - Vaguely remember talking to u on millar's phone. Maaaaaahaaaaaaaa

Steve and Loy - Hope all the interviews went well - Singapore is MUCH better than London!!

Greg W - Hahahaha quality chat, 1K minimum quote.

Greg and Vanessa - we owe you guys for a great night out and excellent hospitality. You can mail us at my name at fizin dot com. Anytime you're in Scotland, you're more than welcome to crash at ours.

Matt - Cheers for letting us stay at yours when Xmas comes - looking forward to it BIG TIME!

Colin - haha

Bobby - never fry a silicon chip.

(End of private jokes)

Sleeper train

I'm sure they call it a sleeper train for a reason, but can't remember why.

We arrive in Kuala Lumpur station, wait in the taxi q for about 3o mins, when some ugly fat dude comes up to me and asks me if my name's Ally McCoist. I think about laughing before remembering that was the name I put on the reservation - this guy was from our hostel and was trying to give us a lift there.

Not much point in sleeping then - it was 8am, so stayed up and had breakfast with some chick who hated all things Malaysian, and some bloke from Oz who had been bundled into the back of a van, had 900 Ringgit (130 quid) nicked off him. He, too, was beginning to hate Malaysia.

I find an authentic northern curry place, have some lunch and head to the shops for which Malaysia is so famous. If only i'd known that my Chicken Vindaloo contained food poisoning as well as the ridiculous amounts of spice.

We meet the Oz guy, Joseph, and head out for 'a few' beers which turn into jugs. Midway through one of them, we see a burd get her handbag nicked by a guy on a motorbike - a pretty slick operation you have to say, but if you got a hold of him, you'd try your best to kick the living shit out of him.

Back to our hostel to eat some bombay mix that Joseph bought, not quite as good as the stuff from home, but still a good drunken munch.

Can't eat a thing coz of the 'curry' from the day b4, so we walk to the KL tower and, on cue, it starts to rain. Zero visibility at the top. We go up when it miraculously clears and get an audio guided tour. And see the view...



Not bad at all. We walk to the Petronas towers (the two largest free standing towers in the world) and bump into the burds we met at Koh Phi Phi - so random. Turns out the towers are closed, so we go to the shops underneath them. Some good stuff there, which can't be said for my stomach.

Millar goes to change some money and gets done because Scottish money isn't as good as english money!! Thought she was going to lamp the burd behind the counter with her bare fists through an inch of glass - Go for it laura!!

On our way back to the hostel we notice - what I think is the single greatest marketing idea ever - this sign...



Next day we head to chinatown. I go to the pharmacy, tell them i've got some food poisoning, and the wee burd behind the counter gives me the chemical equivalent of a cork. Got locked in the massive shopping center after a late dinner and some hostel booking over the Internet.

Up early to grab the bus down to Singapore. Spent every single ringgit in Malaysia before we left, passed through customs, got our passports stamped. Just noticed that it turned my birthday in the UK while I was on the bus. Turn on my phone to see if I have any messages but I broke it the day before sitting in Starbucks mucking about with my Leatherman.

Grab a taxi from the station to our hosts' place. Vanessa and Greg are friends of Laura's other cousin Nicola, and seem completely so so so decent. They've gotta be for putting us up for the night!

As its my 21st tonight, I'm off to get blind. Will be donning the kilt for comedy value/st andrews day technique. Expect some drunken photos next time, same bat-place, same bat-channel.

Later,

Mick

Bob - cheers for the birthday email mate!!

GHA lads - nice one on the 1st league victory!! Must be coz of Andy and Chippie on the bench!!

Alex - happy birthday!! Sorry I can't be there to make ure 40th.

Finbaaar - happy birthday boss - Let me guess....you were blotto?? Fizin.

Bod - cheers for the text - heard you slept in Mac's basket again??

BC right there - again, cheers for the text - did I beat Vegas?

M+P - cheers for the card, some nice pics, i'll see if I can hang onto them for the next 11 months!!

The Halls - Got yer mail folks, sorry about all the swearing uncle G, will try and tone it down for next time - bullsh*t! Lovely picture, u don't get that kind of scenery over here :)

Jackie - thanks again for the bday mail, loved the picture :)