Century...

100 days have passed since I was last in the land of neds, buckfast tonic wine and cold weather. So much has happened since then, and most of it (apart from the REALLY good stuff) is all up on here, have a look at the archives if you're new and see pictures and stuff from Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and all the other parts of Australia.

100 days. It seems like 10. Word of warning for people taking a year to go round the world. Take 2. Or 3. There simply isn't enough time to see everything, especially if you've got to work for a couple of months along the way.

If you want some crap facts about what i've done in the last 100 days, here goes...

I have....

Blinked 1700000 times, slept for 29 days, had my 21st Birthday, been on 3 continents, made fun of far too many people for my own good, spent my life savings, made some absolutely brilliant friends (cheese!), met some complete arseholes and finally, been loving every single minute of it.

Right. Now that that pash is finished, where the hell have I been and what have I been doing?

Went to go and see a couple of flats. Every single one of them absolutely reeks of piss. No joke. For the last couple of weeks I have slept for about 6-7 hours a day, mostly less, instead of the usual 12. Emma managed to introduce Chuck and I to the magical game of Gin Rummy. I seem to be the only one that doesn't care if I lose. Burds and their outrageous competitivity!

Went to the SCG for an interview for a bar job. Some sour-faced tart asks me the usual pish questions then asks me what 10 times $3.60 is. I get the job, starting a few days later. That same night, loads of us head out, and I contemplate jumping off the Pyrmont Bridge into Darling Harbour below until some aussie chick tells me it's only 6 foot deep. I wake up in the morning with her number in my phone.

On the 3rd of Feb, I head to an induction sesh at the SCG, telling us what the company do bla bla bla. BIG COMPANIES - Spare us all this irrelevant pish about company mottos etc - just let us work!

Emma and I head to Manly beach for the day, (sans Millar coz she was dying of a virus) sit on the beach and get burnt. About an hour later I stick on some SPF 500 in a bid to stop my skin looking like beetroot...



So loads of sun and a few beers later we jump on the ferry back to Sydney and Emma snaps me in mid-thought....



Actually, that photo took us 30 minutes to set up, get the make up on and wait for the perfect light, but is one of the only photos on this site to have me on it! For all the 80+ people that visit this site per day, that is what I look like. This one, however, was taken 2 minutes later, completely spur of the moment and is probably one of the best photos on the site....



On the 6th, had to do my RSA certificate. In New South Wales, you need your Responsible Sale of Alcohol certificate to be able to work behind a bar. It was however, the most boring 6 (yes, six) hours of my entire life. The fat cant in the room talks to you all and tells you not to serve drunk people. I'm pretty sure I already knew that, having worked in alcoholics' central the whole summer in Arran.

That night, Emma's sister Lindsey arrives and we hit the Bondi Hotel for a beer. 1 turns to a couple, a couple turns to a few and a few turns into a HAWRIGHTPAL! Before you can slur 'Whits yooor name?' I am talking to this Canadian (from Canada) called Mike who got his laptop nicked from his room. Upon arrival back at the hostel, we form NATS (Noah's Against Theiving Sh*ts). I promise to meek Mike at 8 in the morning (we have the guy on CCTV and we always comes in at that time) so we can knock seven shades of crap out of the theif.

I wake at 10. Oops. Millar, Ross, Phil and I head out to the cheapest shops in Bondi to look for some disgusting shirts to dress up in for Emma's leaving night. $8 later and we're walking back carrying these shirts that...... you'll have to see later.

We all head to town to Kelly's hotel room, meet a few of her pals, and head to a bar. I start my first shift of 11 hours the next day so take it 'easy'. An hour later we hit a club called Tank. This place is pretty cool and full of beautiful people. We're getting some funny looks from the pretentious mob - we don't care. The cameras come out...



This photo was taken before the beers got their hands on the night. Roughly about 30 minutes afterwards, Emma suddenly feels the need to ask the bar for a bucket. She is ejected along with Kelly, and a couple of her mates.

Millar and I are surreally half-sober, and leave when we realise everyone else has gone missing. We watch the inebriated Phil swallow a whole Big Mac then fall asleep in the taxi - a classic move.

Up early doors to start my first shift - working at the SCG in the final of the cricket - Australia vs India. The NSW government are very strict on their alcohol - hence the whole RSA thing. All we were serving at the place was light beer, but some dafties still managed to get blotto and eneded up not getting served one of the 10,000 pints we poured from our wee outlet. A good laugh.

So it's onto the present day. Ross took a day off to say goodbye to his burd, so I filled in for him at the building site. Phil and I ended up lugging 16 ovens, 16 dishwashers, 3 microwaves and all the rest up a few flights of stairs. Typically, the lift started working as soon as we had finished. You picked the right day to take of, Rossco! Not sure if i'm out of line saying this, but I hope you told that bint to get tae France! ROLL ON SATURDAY!!

Well folks, will speak to you all in a week or so, should have a full time job by then. And who knows - maybe then I could afford to buy some decent clothes. Bought a phonecard so might phone some of you at ridiculous hours.

Fizin.

Mick.

M+P - Enjoy Madeira, will check the GPO 2moro hopefully!

Vic, Bro - Goa sounded class, back to work eh? Large black bottle please.

Rodreeeek - Barca sounded fiz, keep us informed of any drunken nights out.

BC - WHAYHEYYYY. Good to talk to you when you were sober for once!! Heard Peno's got a piece?

GHA boys - Well played lads on a good victory against Heriots - Millar keeps me informed on the progress!

Fitzy - see above mate, and well played on the 7's selection - absolutely BRILLIANT!

Dez - Hope your feeling a lot more natural after the sex change - sorry - 'operation'. Seriously boss, just added you to msn, would be class to chat!

Chazza - Oh Noooooooo!!! You asked me to mention you. So.....hi!

Kimmy G - Immense photo - did ally and durranty remember me trying to play the guitar?

Colin - Colin. Funniest email I have ever read in my life. Brilliant.

Peek eh - Hello stella! Some class pictures from Rome, good to talk to you boss!

Caz - Please keep sending me ure chat. Everyone in the internet place looks at me funny because of the tears running down my cheeks (on my face) from laughing. Oh ye.

Lynsey W - Happy 21st Doll!! Hope you have a brilliant night - and drink as much as you humanly can.

Phil, Ross, Glen, Richie - You guys are really, really, really, really.... real. Love you all like I love finding out that some prick has stolen my Milk.

Emma - can't believe you're going up the coast - we'll all miss you loads and loads. I wan't some tears on Wednesday!

Fais - Will try and get in touch with you again boss, Cuti.

Marisa - Out on the sauce in sydney - brilliant!

Loy, Steve - I'm still waiting for my, ahem, internet research?!

Greg & Rye - Unbelievable I can talk to you from Oz when you are in US, had such a good laugh, despite greg being his usual!

Rangers Footbal Club - Don't worry about our current form - It's only temporary. It'll be St. Valentines day soon - I love you.