Fraser and beyond...

Heya folks,

Millardo and I have just reached our halfway point on the spectacular that is our world tour. 6 months in and ....well, wow - what a quality time it's been. We've been walking barefoot through the oldest rainforest in the world, bartering with toothless old thai women for crap merchandise, working for charities in Australia - the lot. It's been quality. Everyone must must must do it.

So we've arrived in Brisbane and met up with 'old' mates from Perth and Sydney, and have had a quality couple of days, despite getting my bag nicked when I was getting my haircut. Bastardos! Basically, I'd gone and spunked a $100 MYER voucher on a pair of cargo pants I needed, a present from my boss in Sydney for being a suckass. Turns out some bloke picked it up by mistake so should get them back by tomorrow. If someone had nicked them tho - good luck - when I tried them on in the store I had no pants on!

What's been going on since the Whitsundays? Fraser Island, that's what. The largest sand island in the world, inhabited by the purest dingoes anywhere on the planet. A group of us grab a 4x4, load it with beer and tents and head out for a few days. Get that leg up....



Ahhhh what a group - Gerry and Liz, the freeeky deeeeeky dutch folk (who were quality) Nat, Wendy, Joe, Mark, Juliette, Laura and me. On our first day we arrive at, quite frankly, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen which we duly spoil with a cheesy photo...



That was in Lake McKenzie - amazing. Laura, Gerry and I share the driving (which Laura was voted Best Driver for!) and we head off to find a campsite...



We set up camp, get the fire running and watch the sunset, beer in hand...



The usual drinking games come flying out when Ifat, our drunken, pill-popping Israelli friend in the other group decides to get hammered and make another truckload of people pass out.

Fraser Island. Wicked.

The next day we arrive at the famous shipwreck on the east coast. So famous, in fact, that I can't quite remember the name of it. Bugger it - here it is anyway...



A couple more days on Fraser drinking beer, driving Nigger McKenzie (the name of our truck) and chasing dingoes leads us back to the ferry and back to our hostel in Hervey Bay. A HUGE all you can eat chinese buffet for the 17 of us is pushed aside by me, only to be replaced by a HUGE bottle of Shiraz and several jugs of Carlton back at the hostel. There may have been the odd tequila thrown in amongst all the shirt-signing and 'come and stay at my place back in Scotland chat'. Needles to say I woke up somewhere I didn't recognise, spewed into the toilet, and walked back to the bar.

A massive weekend, truly huge. In fact, the last 15 or so days have been, rather like Dale Winton, one huge bender.

We say our goodbyes to some excellent folk, and head onto Brisbane to meet Emma, Richie and Glen again! The first night passes by easily enough, while the second turns into a bit of a mess...



Yes thats us 'singing' 500 miles by the Proclaimers. I honestly think that by the time we finished balling our way through the verses, there was no one left in the pub. Apart from the girl on the left of the photo who just had her head transplanted with a Sanyo 28'' Flastscreen TV.

And so Richie and Glen left today - won't see them again until I reach Winnipeg, slap bang in the middle of Canada. Not to worry, they left while sharing a great memory with us all while down at the beach sunbathing. Check this out...



Yes my friends, that is a man wearing a thong. In public. Public as in not in his bedroom. I had to grab a picture, just after I wiped the sickness away from my mouth.

And so folks, another country is almost knocked off the list. In a weeks time, I'll probably be writing to you from cold-as-hell New Zealand, where Millardo and I will be driving some piece-of-shit car for 3 weeks.

Looking forward to reading any messages from the Fraser Island crew or, indeed, anyone without bigotted views.

I'll leave you with this picture I received from Sgt Troy Hammersmith 1st Marine Expeditionary Force...



Love it,

Mick

M + P - Will give you guys a phonecall sometime soonish - expect a present in the mail sometime soon.

V + B - Everything going well? Email back up and running hopefully x

Rod - Can't beleive you didn't tell me you were going to sell Pugster. Harsh!

Brian - Yup Yup

Phil and Ross - Enjoy the Whit's lads, awesome time. See you in the UK! Miss ya loads.

Ross - Happy Birthday to peek eh!

Colin - I bet you are still awake just now.

Louise - Holy shit, that Canadian's chat was awesome!! Why didn't you neck him?

Bob - That's another joule....

Loy, Steve, Chris - Curlers in September mate, good luck!

Fraser Island Crew - What a wicked 4 days, absolutely brilliant. Received a letter in the mail from the Fraser Ranger Reserve summoning us to court for fines of $1.5M to be paid to the dingoes.

Greg - Fizin can mean anything mate, anything.

Andy - HAAAAAAAAAAANDY!!!! I met a dive instructor over here who says he knows you. And how you shat it when you had to take your mask off underwater. Mbaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! Hows it going mate?

Boydy - Back in Sydney 9th-11th hopefully see you then

Chazza - Maaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Caz - Can't beleive I missed your white ass. Harsh.

Faisal - Derimah Penjode!

Kimmy G - Tellllll meeeeeeeeeeeeee everything!

Mike D, Erin B - S'up nizels? Looks like I may have to miss St Louis, but it's early days yet - hope everythings all good.

Richie, Glen - What a quality couple of days seeing you guys again, enjoy Fraser etc - see you in CA!

Emma, Mal, Marie, Andy, Andy - Cheers for putting us up for a few days, brilliant of you. BLIND!!!!!!

Dave W - Where are you now mate?

Keeno - I'd love to sponsor you to do the death slide, but I'm skint and it should be a pleasure to be soaring high over Ibrox!

Adam Ant - Treat her like a lady mate, like a lady!

Everyone else who I've forgotten and who really wants their name up on here - tell me.