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Good day, my friends.

I am now back in Glasgow, the joint Buckfast and Kappa capital of the world. Since the day of leaving LA, I have arrived in 'Nedsville' by way of Phoenix, St Louis, Detroit, Boston, New York and London. Fiz.

Back in LA, I took some folk up flying at night which was fizin, said goodbye to some seriously decent folk at the academy and Peter gave me a lift to LAX and dropped me off in his helicopter on the VIP pad. Videos here and here if you wish. See ya later folks!

Unable to get up to Winnipeg, I grab a couple of planes to St Louis to meet up with big Mike Dizel who I worked with in Sydney and his burd Emily. What da shizel!? What a fizin couple! Em and Mike had just moved into their new pad in St Louis and I kipped on their sofa, probably the comfiest thing in the world.

Mike and I buzz about good ol' St Lou for a few hours, and come across this huuuuge arch...



Plus the classic tourist shot...



I have a brilliant couple of days in St Louis, even buy a Cardinals shirt. After a few beers it's time for me to head off again to New York. I say goodbye to Mike and Emily, and jump on the plane.

I get into New York and get to Laura's cousins' flat. Nicola and Jon instantly make me feel right at home - we get blotto! A few bottles of wine and some proper whisky later and we take the dog out for a walk - time for a photo of the Manhattan skyline without the twin towers...



The next day I leave early for Boston and meet Erin, another mate I met in Syndey while working. Such a good laugh up there, getting blitzed and having a walk around Boston. It has to be one of my favourite cities in the USA, maybe even the world...



I even bump into Eileen Myles, an old pal from school at the ridiculously touristy Cheers bar...



This world really is small. Another bus back to NY and some wine before one night at Nicola and John's amazing pad in Brooklyn. Manhattan is my first and only real stop in NY, so I do some shopping and pick up some stuff for folk back home and even manage to hurl abuse at George W during some protest. Brilliant.

And so it was onto London. It felt amazing getting on a British plane and watching some British TV. Woke the fat burd beside me when I was laughing too hard at Blackadder the 3rd. Make no mistake - the UK is the best country in the world.

Despite not sleeping in a couple of days I meet up with Loy and Steve - 2 of my best mates from uni who are now being paid ridiculous amounts of money to read the BBC news website everyday.

They stay in this immense place in the Docklands in London called New Providence Wharf, right on the Thames, across from the Millenium Dud ehh I mean Dome...



We get mangled on Friday, doing a 'tonne-night' and almost got shot by a taxi driver that was trying to sell us weed when I told him I was from Her Majesty's Drug Enforcement Unit. Seemed a good idea at the time.

So a few days with the high rollers aka Loy and Steve, had a brilliant time and managed to catch up with a few mates from uni as well, bonus.

And so it was the train up to Luton and an easyjet up to Glasgow, met at the airport by Rod, Kim and Faisal, brilliant. I saunter into the house and meet my folks and a couple of glasses of champagne.

And so came 'The Questions'

In the past 15 minutes I have been asked the following questions roughly 8 times each.

1) How was it?

2) Is it weird to be back?

3) What's your favourite country?

4) What's your favourite bit?

5) What are you going to do now?

6) Tell me about the burds.

The answers are...

1) Amazing, the best thing I've ever done and probably will ever do.

2) Not in the slightest. I'm having a great time, brilliant to see everyone again and can't wait for the wedding.

3) Thailand was amazing because you got a curry and a beer for less than a pound. Fiji was unreal because of the people and most of the places. A hard choice but I'll go with Thailand. It was our first stop and Bangkok was utterly, utterly mental.

4) A quite, quite, quite impossible question to answer. Since leaving last year until the moment I write this, there are simply thousands of moments flying through my head every minute. From eating Labrador kebabs bought from a smelly old woman in Bangkok to walking Hippo along the promenade in NY. From meeting back up with good friends to making new ones in less than an hour. From flying out of LAX to flying myself over it, the whole thing has been one huge viagra for the mind.

5) Ah yes, my favourite question. Well, since my bank manager is currently holding a Glock 9mm to my head I think it's best if I start making money instead of continually swiping my credit card as if I'm earning as much as Loy and Steve put together. But first comes the 10th of September, my sister's wedding! You'll find some photos on my next post.

6) Stories about the female of the species may be purchased for the amount of one bottle of Corona or Stella per tale, or see answer 1.

And so my travels are over after cirumnavigating the globe by plane, train, bus, tuk tuk etc. What an amazing time it's been. Most of that I owe to my best travelling bud Millar and everyone else I've met along the way. I can't possibly start to name every single person that it's been a pleasure to meet but you all know who you are. Apart from you, Carl - everyone just pretended to like you.

Of course, the door is always open to you all up here in Scotland. Special thanks go to everyone who put Millar or me up for a night or 2 - it's much appreciated. To all the weird folk we've met along the way (90% of them were on the greyhound buses in America), I say good luck to you.

To all Americans - please do me and yourselves a favour. If that tit Bush gets in office again, your country will go down the tubes - everyone will perceive you as thick bastards trying to emulate your monkey-leader, and no country will like you. Sound advice, I think.

I don't think there ever will be a definitive goodbye post on this blog yet - the next post on it will be some pics of Vick and Bro's wedding.

Cheers,

Mick